"His stories are, as the title suggests, inappropriate, and they often engender squeamishness, discomfort, and laughter. But they are fresh and, at times, touching, qualities that make this an enjoyable read."--Library Journal
"One of the year's funniest books."--Largehearted Boy
Whoopee
cushion coupon. When you buy a copy of the book and send this
coupon, along with the book, to Daniel Nester's home, he will send you
an official How to Be Inappropriate whoopee cushion. That's
right: inflate one of these puppies and let the faux farts fly!
While supplies last. [PDF]
Shelf talker. You know those pieces of paper that stick out
of bookstore shelves that touts a title of note? They're called shelf-talkers,
and here at Inappropriate Headquarters, we have made some for your own
shelf-talking pleasure. print it out, and place it under copies of How
to Be Inappropriate at your local bookstore. Or print one out and
place one on your own bookshelf! Alternatively, you can use this as
a bookmark or to flag down authorities at a roadside accident. [PDF]
I keep my Twitter account private (i.e., "protected") because I don't want everyone to see everything I post; I would like at least one online space where I feel like I can be an idiot. Believe you me: I am protecting me from you.
But there's a couple of Tweets I've posted I think could be posted to the world and benefit society in some way.*
Some conclusions I can draw from looking at these again: I shamelessly navel-gaze; I have a fixation on Mia Michaels, the loopy choreography from So You Think You Can Dance? (abbreviated as #SYTYCD here); I re-tweet, or RT, my @Adagia_Project a lot, and I think poets who went to Iowa and become self-proclaimed memoir-essay experts are Tartuffian idiots.
OK. Here's some tweetage from the month of June. If you like this, tell me: I'll do it next month, too.
Think post Jay Bennett Wilco has been overrated, by the way. And "America's Radiohead" is faint praise. [Gets off soapbox]
New Wilco sounds like Traveling Wilburys, complete with faux George Harrison guitar and Jeff Lyne vocal 25 minutes ago from web
File under WTF: Zachary Quinto falls walking dog w/ guy dressed as steak. Throws hissyfit: http://tinyurl.com/mxa8ak
Spin's "Purple Rain: The Oral History" will be used in my oral history class this semester! Super. 5:47 AM Jun 24th from web
Soooo looking forward to reading the Roger Troutman article here: http://waxpoetics.com/issue...5:45 AM Jun 24th from web
RT @arthurmagazine Attention technology-will-save-us-in-the-end people! Where's my biodegradable cel phone? Compostable computer? Etc 4:38 AM Jun 24th from web
RT @Brendacopeland Margaritas make you feel the way you ought to feel without margaritas. 2:37 AM Jun 24th from web
RT @Adagia_Project 17. The horrible inside. Also included with this offer. 5:06 PM Jun 23rd from web
@timesunionlive Am DVRing so am a bit behind everyone. All we can do is hope. But Richard Marx? Richard Marx. 5:10 AM Jun 18th from web in reply to timesunionlive
@pankmagazine I will come to wherever you are in Michigan and take you off the Hot Tamale Train.
Mia Michaels must DIE! #SYTYCD5:06 AM Jun 18th from web in reply to pankmagazine
Richard Marx? Richard. Marx. #SYTYCD 4:55 AM Jun 18th from web
No Mia Michaels. Not yet. Life is good. #SYTYCD 4:54 AM Jun 18th from web
RT @specksnyder Reading: "Literary Magazines: The Big List", http://bit.ly/MYNFF. 6:29 PM Jun 17th from web
Playing reissue CD by Hammond organist great Jackie Davis, aka Porterhouse from Caddyshack. Who knew? http://tinyurl.com/kwub94 11:47 PM Jun 16th from web
Clive Thompson in Wired: "Books have been held hostage offline for far too long." http://tinyurl.com/qlm892 5:45 PM Jun 15th from web
RT @largeheartedboy Authors signing Kindles http://bit.ly/14LHA3 4:30 PM Jun 15th from web
Katy Perry doing Queen's Don't Stop Me Now: http://bit.ly/AVmMh 4:22 AM Jun 15th from web
And Brian May with Katy Perry and band, also from BrianMay.com: http://bit.ly/Z0EL2 4:19 AM Jun 15th from web
Brian May and Katy Perry meet backstage--a wonderbra picture from http://bit.ly/DGtY8 4:18 AM Jun 15th from web
my mom just told me she was once "kissed by a Righteous Brother." Which one? "The tall one, of course!" 4:49 AM Jun 14th from web
Sea Isle City is beautiful this morning. Nephews and I won several whoopie cushions playing skee ball, official sport of boardwalks. 4:12 PM Jun 13th from web
Shappy Seasholtz's Zombie Stand-Up and Whale Song for My Bastard Son on Pank: http://www.pankmagazine.com... 12:31 AM Jun 13th from web
RT @Adagia_Project 8. As the dodo hums, asswipe.6:10 PM Jun 12th from web
RT @chrispetterson it'll take you a minute to realize this isn't from @TheOnion: http://bit.ly/z6tTo 6:54 AM Jun 12th from web
RT @chaiteaisgood Thou shalt not use a public restroom stall with no lock. I am speaking from experience here...#11thcommandment5:55 AM Jun 12th from web
The wait is over. Per Gessle announces Roxette Reunion on SIRIUS XM Radio http://bit.ly/mJUJz 4:16 AM Jun 12th from web
Collaborative poem written by nephews and I, read by my mother, for Linebreak's Unstressed blog: http://tinyurl.com/nkvsuu 2:50 AM Jun 12th from web
RT pankmagazine FYI: When u say you'll only let us put yr work online if we publish you in the print issue, yr work will be declined, unread 9:29 PM Jun 11th from web
RT @timesunion Passerby yells at billionaire Tom Golisano as he fielded questions about funding NY Senate takeover http://bit.ly/18YL2C 7:33 AM Jun 11th from web
If you wish, you may follow my 12-year-old nephew Charlie's tweetage, even though he's a douchebag: @chaiteaisgood 6:17 AM Jun 11th from web
My nephews just told me about the environmentally friendly Google, called Blackle; heard of it? http://blackle.com/
But first, an old poem of mine I posted up on Linebreak's Unstressed blog: http://tinyurl.com/lc882f 5:34 AM Jun 11th from web
poem by yours truly on Linebreak's Unstressed blog: “Found Poem: Gene Simmons Impersonator": http://tinyurl.com/lq8wlm
Two books, vastly different, by my friends that I think deserve your kind attention: http://tinyurl.com/ldrn59 7:35 PM Jun 9th from web
Tony Sciuto's debut LP 1980's Island Nights, features Toto members Steve Lukather and Jeff Porcaro; here's a cut:http://tinyurl.com/lx5qlp 7:32 PM Jun 9th from web
Co-writer of "Last Sound Love Makes" is Tony Sciuto, formerly of Little River Band: http://www.tonysciuto.net/
This Don Johnson song, IMHO, is one guitar pedal away from a cut off of Replacement's Pleased to Meet Me: http://tinyurl.com/l9998a 7:03 PM Jun 9th from web
Old poem of mine up on Linebreak's Unstressed blog: “Mick Jagger Is Not Afraid And Neither Should You Be": http://tinyurl.com/lwblwd 5:04 PM Jun 9th from web
RT @htmlgiant Bennett Cerf asks, Do you have a restless urge to write? - http://tinyurl.com/lhcmntless 3:12 AM Jun 9th from web
@tarabetts I am playing Carl Carlton's "She's a Bad Mama Jama" on an 8-track boombox as we speak. 12:35 AM Jun 9th from web in reply to tarabetts
@lnorthrup I bought a Oh Hell No from you! I love them. Is there a link to other samples for me to peruse, browse, review? 12:34 AM Jun 9th from web in reply to lnorthrup
Guest blogging this week at Linebreak's Unstressed blog: http://linebreak.org/blog/ 12:14 AM Jun 9th from web
RT @Lefsetz Gizmodo and other tech blogs update automatically, NYTimes does not. Mainstream media is inept, destroying itself. 10:29 PM Jun 8th from web
#musicmonday Little Boots' covers Freddie Mercury's Love Kills from Giorgio Moroder's oft-reviled Metropolis: http://tinyurl.com/mlvatb 8:15 PM Jun 8th from web
@RandyHernandez Character? WhachootalkinboutWillis? 7:35 PM Jun 8th from web in reply to RandyHernandez
@jedediahberry Small Beer's $1 warehouse clearance sale ends Wednesday. Grab 'em while you can: http://is.gd/TcMA 7:19 PM Jun 8th from web
RT @Adagia_Project 4. Not important now? Not important to your parents. 6:29 PM Jun 8th from web
RT @R_Nash Wordnik beta now open. @FakeErinMcKean wearing alphabetical-print clothing to celebrate. http://www.wordnik.com 6:28 PM Jun 8th from web
Trustafarians begin to work for living, says Times: http://bit.ly/6Dnyz 4:35 PM Jun 8th from web
Why the FREAK won't Journey get back together? Unbelievable. They're our musical lingua franca #Tonys 5:38 AM Jun 8th from web
Went to Albany Flea today. It's there every Sunday. There's cool stuff there, cool vibe. You should check it out! http://albanyflea.com/ 3:06 AM Jun 8th from web
Bound for Hell, Or Glory? David Carradine and the Feistiest Film Panel Ever http://bit.ly/12qDxB 6:54 AM Jun 7th from mobile web
RT @timesunion New owner for Bob & Ron's: Bob & Ron's Fish Fry on Central Avenue has been sold. http://bit.ly/12s1t2
RT @Adagia_Project 3. Every important word should end with the suffix “Turner Overdrive.” 11:34 PM Jun 5th from web
Honor Moore's "Remembering [translator] Paul Schmidt," He was married to Stockard Channing? Who knew? http://tinyurl.com/l5egfl [PDF] 6:52 PM Jun 5th from web
@gatewaygroupie Have a cassette player in my 2003 Volvo, oddly. Got Street Talk cassette for shits & giggles. Make no mistake: I have the CD. 6:16 PM Jun 5th from web in reply to gatewaygroupie
@thebookslut So, what if I were to say to you that I was listening to--and enjoying--Steve Perry's solo album Street Talk? On cassette? 6:10 PM Jun 5th from web in reply to thebookslut
Jimmy Fallon's Dave Matthews GPS: http://bit.ly/tajXk 5:39 PM Jun 5th from web
Put last-minute manuscript additions in; book sent to design people; release date November, with copies in stores in October. 5:32 PM Jun 5th from web
Mia Michaels must die. As well as Lil' C. #sytycd 6:30 AM Jun 5th from web
@pankmagazine Many of those same writers are Pushcart Prize nominees. 4:53 AM Jun 5th from web in reply to pankmagazine
I still get Rip Torn and Rip Taylor mixed up. 4:43 AM Jun 5th from web
Q: How many Iowa poets who switch to essays does it take the fun out of writing? A: Not many. But they're multiplying. 9:06 PM Jun 4th from web
Onion: Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Crap That Doesn’t Even Work (NSFW): http://tinyurl.com/bap7bk 8:26 PM Jun 4th from web
Another reason Upstate NY rocks: flea markets! One Sat: Another Sun: http://www.albanyflea.com/ 8:19 PM Jun 4th from web
RT @timesunionarts Latest arts news: Saint Rose alumni art exhibit honors educator Karene Faul http://tinyurl.com/q3k79b 5:07 PM Jun 4th from web
The lean, mean Newsweek takes on Oprah's junk medicine. Maybe I should subscribe. @Lefsetz letters about it, too. http://tinyurl.com/p2jocq 6:45 AM Jun 4th from web
Mia Michaels is back! In all her I-choreographed-Celine Dion glory! sytycd 5:35 AM Jun 4th from web
RT @kingsthings this just in from the water cooler... we need more water! 5:30 AM Jun 4th from web
Did BEA ever make it onto Twitter's Trending Topics? Is that, too, a sign of the Armageddon? 5:25 AM Jun 4th from web
Got Hotel Amerika's Trans Genre issue. Haven't updated website in forever. Trust me, this one looks good. http://hotelamerika.net 12:44 AM Jun 4th from web
RT @Adagia_Project 1. All friends become your enemies. 5:31 PM Jun 3rd from web
@RandyHernandez If I were Salinger I'd be suing people's vital organs off. But there's gotta be some leeway as far as parody's concerned. 3:44 AM Jun 3rd from web in reply to RandyHernandez
follow the @Adagia_Project to get a bit of perverted wisdom every morning. 10:51 PM Jun 2nd from web
My Google alerts alighted with success of Daniel Nestor, my Canadian tennis pro alter-ego, who has advanced to the French Open semifinals 7:35 PM Jun 2nd from web
Sherman Alexie sees Kindle-reading woman, and wants to punch her. Noice. http://www.nytimes.com/2009... 10:22 PM Jun 1st from web
@The_Rumpus Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the User Generated Submission License Agreement: http://twitpic.com/6eluj 10:03 PM Jun 1st from web
Forgot to tell publishers I write reviews when I visited booths. Hard to shift self-promotion modes from writer to reviewer. #BEA09 8:11 PM Jun 1st from web
RT @Michael_Schiavo Big. Star. Box. Set. Why I love Rhino. http://bit.ly/VZRSl
dinner in chelsea with miriam and maisie before we drive back up to albany. i get to see my honey and my munchkin. yay!1:56 AM Jun 1st from web
at housing works for clmp's fab magathon fair #bea09 10:36 PM May 31st from web
met new editor and counterpoint berkeley peops, gave out whhopie cushions to librarians and booksellers. success. #bea09 8:25 AM May 31st from web
mcsweeney's/rumpus/smith event jessica anthony superb, then pgw party 7:28 AM May 31st from web
i miss oren's coffee! bea096:39 PM May 30th from txt
Stop by Counterpoint/Soft Skull booth #4437 and hear How to Be Inappropriate spiel I wrote my pitch on back of an envelope. I'm ready #BEA09 5:35 PM May 30th from web
gave out four whoopee cushions last night. good practice for today 5:29 PM May 30th from web
at cow girl hall of fame...after beatweetup i guess 7:00 AM May 30th from txt
[This user's updates are protected.]
*It's better than writing about how experimental/disruptive/flarf/post avant poetry can save the world.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Wednesday, September 3, 2008
CONTACT: Lisa Haley Thomson, Benjamin Marvin
Phone: 518-454-5102 E-mail: marvinb@strose.edu Web: www.strose.edu/news
"FREQUENCY NORTH" WRITERS SERIES AT SAINT ROSE BACK FOR FOURTH SEASON
"Frequency North," the visiting writers reading series at The College of Saint Rose, returns for its fourth season with another aggressively eclectic mix of award-winning poets, authors, essayists, a MacArthur Award "genius" and one satirical cartoonist.
The 2008-09 series kicks off Thursday, September 25, with David Rees, creator of the Internet phenom "Get Your War On," and playwright, writer and sometime performer Rachel Shukert. Saint Rose writing faculty get into the act in October for a one-time event, with readings by authors Daniel Nester, William Patrick, Kenneth Krauss, Hollis Seamon, Gary McLouth, Rone Shavers and Barbara Louise Ungar. Award-winning author, poet and Troy native Alice Fulton follows in November. March will bring Taylor Mali, a former teacher who uses his slam poetry to turn people to the teaching profession. The series concludes in April with an evening of poetry read by Marilyn Nelson, former Poet Laureate of Connecticut, and Deborah Ager.
"This year's lineup is special because all of these authors have been on my dream list for years," said Daniel Nester, assistant professor of English and creator of the Frequency North series. "They're funny, riveting, thought-provoking, entertaining, bombastic, spell-binding and great reminders of the importance of literature in our lives. They will all rock."
The complete Frequency North schedule follows. All readings are free and open to the public. For more information, visit the series website at www.FrequencyNorth.com.
--Thursday, September 25, 2008, 7:30 p.m.: David Rees and Rachel Shukert Events and Athletics Center, Second Floor, 420 Western Ave., Albany
(Note: this program recommended for ages 18 and older only)
--Thursday, October 16, 2008, 7:30 p.m.: Saint Rose Faculty Reading Auditorium, Saint Joseph Hall, 985 Madison Ave., Albany
--Wednesday, November 12, 2008, 7:30 p.m.: Alice Fulton Events and Athletics Center, Second Floor, 420 Western Ave., Albany
--Thursday, March 26, 2009, 7:30 p.m.: Taylor Mali Events and Athletics Center, Second Floor, 420 Western Ave., Albany
--Thursday, April 23, 2009, 7:30 p.m.: Marilyn Nelson and Deborah Ager Events and Athletics Center, Second Floor, 420 Western Ave., Albany
David Rees was working a crummy magazine job when Operation: Enduring Freedom inspired him to create his cartoon "Get Your War On." The satire about the war on terrorism became an Internet phenomenon. "Get Your War On" now appears in every issue of Rolling Stone, and an animated version is featured on www.236.com. Get Your War On was published in book form in 2003 (Soft Skull Press), followed by Get Your War On II in 2004 (Riverhead Books). This fall, Soft Skull Press publishes Get Your War On: The Definitive Account of George Bush's War on Terror 2001-2008. Sales of the first two Get Your War On books have raised almost $100,000 for land mine removal in western Afghanistan. Rees also is the author of My New Fighting Technique is Unstoppable (Riverhead Books, 2003), Adventures of Confessions of Saint Augustine Bear and My New Filing Technique is Unstoppable (Riverhead, 2004), which appeared as a regular feature in The Guardian of London. Rees lives in Beacon, OrangeCounty.
Rachel Shukert is the author of Have You No Shame?: And Other Regrettable Stories (Random House/Villard), a memoir collection that chronicles, among other high jinks, the writer-performer-provocateur's experience growing up in Omaha, Neb., in that city's only Jewish elementary school. Her most recent theatre project, "Wasp Cove," is a "Dallas"/"Falcon Crest"-type soap opera, which she co-created and co-wrote with Julie Klausner. In it, Shukert plays the actress Pamela Ann Windchime, who plays the character of Donna Kettering. Her writing has appeared in Nerve, Babble, Salon, Heeb Magazine and McSweeney's, and anthologized in 2033: The Future of Misbehavior. Shukert lives in New York City with her husband and her cat.
A native of Troy, Alice Fulton's first fiction collection, The Nightingales of Troy: Connected Stories, was published this year by W.W. Norton. Her most recent book of poems is Cascade Experiment: Selected Poems. Her 2001 poetry collection, Felt (W.W. Norton), was awarded the 2002 Rebekah Johnson Bobbitt National Prize for Poetry from the Library of Congress. Her other books include Sensual Math (W.W. Norton); Powers Of Congress (Sarabande Books reissue 2001); Palladium (University of Illinois), winner of the 1985 National Poetry Series and the 1987 Society of Midland Authors Award; and Dance Script With Electric Ballerina (University of Illinois reissue 1996), winner of The 1982 Associated Writing Programs Award. Fulton has received the John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation "Genius" Award and fellowships from the The Ingram Merrill Foundation, the Guggenheim Foundation, The Michigan Society of Fellows, the Fine Arts Work Center in Provincetown and the National Endowment for the Arts. Her work has been included in five editions of The Best American Poetry series and in the 10th Anniversary edition, The Best of the Best American Poetry, 1988-1997. Fulton is currently the Ann S. Bowers Professor of English at CornellUniversity and lives in Ithaca.
Taylor Mali is a former teacher who now makes his living as a professional poet. Through poetry, passion and perseverance, he wants to turn 1,000 people to the teaching profession. He is considered the most successful poetry slam strategist of all time, having led six of his eight national poetry slam teams to the finals stage and winning the championship itself a record four times before anyone had even tied him at three. A native of New York City, Mali was one of the original poets to appear on the HBO original series "Russell Simmons Presents Def Poetry." Mali is a vocal advocate of teachers, having performed and lectured for education professionals all over the world.
A former Poet Laureate of Connecticut, Marilyn Nelson's most recent books are Carver: A Life in Poems, Fortune's Bones, and A Wreath for Emmett Till, a book-length narrative poem about the 14-year-old black youth lynched 57 years ago in Mississippi for allegedly whistling at a white woman. The book made national headlines last year when two teachers were fired from a Los Angeles charter school because they planned to have students read a poem about Emmett Till. Nelson's other books include The Fields of Praise: New and Selected Poems (1997), which was a finalist for the 1998 Lenore Marshall Poetry Prize, the 1997 National Book Award, and the PEN Winship Award; Magnificat (1994); The Homeplace (1990), which won the 1992 Annisfield-Wolf Award and was a finalist for the 1991 National Book Award; Mama's Promises (1985); and For the Body (1978); all published by Louisiana State University Press. She also has published two collections of verse for children: The Cat Walked through the Casserole and Other Poems for Children (with Pamela Espeland, 1984) and Halfdan Rasmussen's Hundreds of Hens and Other Poems for Children (1982), which she translated from Danish with Pamela Espeland. Nelson's honors include two creative writing fellowships from the National Endowment for the Arts., a Guggenheim fellowship, three National Book Award Finalist medals, the Poets' Prize, the Boston Globe/Hornbook Award, a Newbery Honor medal, two Coretta Scott King Honor medals, the Flora Stieglitz Straus Award, the Lion and Unicorn Award for Excellence in Poetry for Young Adults, and the American Scandinavian Foundation Translation Award. Nelson is an emeritus professor at the University of Connecticut and founder/director of Soul Mountain Retreat.
Deborah Ager's first book, Midnight Voices, a finalist for BOA Editions' A. Poulin, Jr. Poetry Prize (judged by Edward Hirsch) will be published in March 2009 by WordTech. Her work has appeared in Best New Poets 2006, Best of the Tigertail Anthologies, Writing Poems (2007), The Bedside Guide to No Tell Motel, The Bloomsbury Review, The Georgia Review, New Letters, Quarterly West, among other places. She has been awarded fellowships from the MacDowell Colony, the VirginiaCenter for the Creative Arts, and the Jenny McKean Moore workshop, and was a Tennessee Williams scholar at the Sewanee Writers' Conference. Since 2004, she has edited and published 32 Poems magazine, which publishes 64 poems per year. Poems from 32 Poems have appeared in The Best American Poetry, Best New Poets 2005 (edited by George Garrett), Best New Poets 2006 (edited by Eric Pankey) and online at Verse Daily and Poetry Daily. Ager works as a search engine optimization expert, owns her own search engine marketing company, and lives in Virginia with her husband and child.
Like most current trends, I am sure I am late to the party, but I want to endorse as my new favorite comedian, Reggie Watts. He succeeds Patton Oswalt, who remains in my top five. And it's almost unfair to call Reggie Watts just a comedian. He's part absurdist along the lines of early Steve Martin, part punk Ashbery along the lines of Todd Colby, part the-guy-from-the-Police Academy movies (Michael Winslow), part beatbox master like Rahzel, part Tenacious D, part Bobby McFerrin, part Lenny Bruce.
The clip on his own website, unembeddable here, is of the highest quality, and is a must-see. Here's one from his MySpace page.
Jimmy's webpage is jimmylorunning.com. He reads like a fine poet--the three short poems on 42Opus are superdooper--and so it's no surprise that Mr. Lo suggests a literary prize.
"How about this," he writes me. "Send me a book you think I'll enjoy. "It can be a used book, or something you've read already, etc.," he writes. He sent me a list of the stuff he has, to give me an idea of his taste, as well as a list of his current favorites.
So it's off to my shelves and Dove & Hudson down the street. Mr. Lo's got a lot of good stuff, so it will be a challenge.
"Memoir? What Memoir? Frey's Novel," my story on James Frey's new book, Bright Shiny Morning, is just out in the May/June 2008 issue of Poets & Writers.
This is also the first contributor bio that mentions the Cousin Mike project. Feeling a bit more out in the open about it.
Whoopee
cushion coupon. When you buy a copy of the book and send this
coupon, along with the book, to Daniel Nester's home, he will send you
an official How to Be Inappropriate whoopee cushion. That's
right: inflate one of these puppies and let the faux farts fly!
While supplies last. [
